"Write drunk, edit sober" - Ernest Hemingway Since I don't drink (well, one bottle of wine a year, to be honest), I came up with a slight variation on good ol' Ernie's advice in putting this collection together. You know that filter we all have between what's in our brain and what we let come out of our mouth? Of course you do. Well, in writing these off-the-wall short stories, I took that filter out and wrote 'em. Then I slid it back in a little bit to edit. Not all the way, but some. So my usual editing question was "Do I dare leave that in?" And my usual answer was "Oh, what the hell. Yeah." So don't expect so-called "political correctness" when you're reading. (Dallas left the filter completely out, by the way; see the warning on the next page.) So prepare yourself to laugh, maybe cry, maybe think a bit, maybe be shocked, but almost always be surprised, maybe even perflutzed, and dig in. (If you're wondering what the title of this collection really means, I've used it in many of these stories, so when you're done reading them, you should have a pretty good idea.)JakeWARNING:Three of Dallas Dalyce's four stories in this collection are R- or X-rated and should NEVER be read by prudes or minors. Word to the wise, okay?