Out of the Darkness: An Autobiography Love: Part One

These first 2 books in the series reveals Pearl’s personal search for meaning and purpose in a life today, when death was the only option she thought existed. She wanted to believe in hope buried very deep in her heart, but that meant trusting in a God she no longer believed. She had survived her traumas and SRA abuses from family and cults through a survival mechanism for the soul/ spirit known as Dissociative Identity (Disorder or DID). Learning why God allowed this is the point of her autobiography...not the mechanism but the Person. She cries out to God through Jesus, to explain why she should stay alive carrying the memories of abuse, pain and suffering that still controlled her life, unless He would or could heal her with a reason and will to continue. How God brings healing to all in her system of people... culminating in one living today is poignantly revealed in her journaled conversations from the beginning, to understand God’s love for her and all of His children. She shouts, denies, gives up, submits, obeys and most importantly, chooses to trust in God’s love to overcome her fears and live renewed. As seen in the introductions in each book, God’s desire is to give back hope to all who have lost it and empower each of us to rise above our circumstances in life with His eternal love living within and through us. Books are chronological in her search for understanding and depict in drawings and text the evil still there in memories controlling choices and God’s requests of them to trust Him to heal her/them in His time as they are ready and as He chooses for them, not as the world defines what healing is or how each one desires it for themselves. Questions like: How can you say I’m worthy of your love after everything I’ve done and what’s been done to us/me? If I’ve done them then how can I not be guilty? How can I forgive or be forgiven? Can you explain clearly how our suffering can be used for good for others...why me? How can I serve you knowing that the healing never finishes and suffering will continue on your path for me ahead? Books 2 & 3 continue the process of discovery, acceptance and trust to reach where they are today, as one person on the path Jesus has put before them... revealing how the answers to life’s questions need repeating in the midst of struggles to eventually trust in God and not in our own understanding. The drawings and text reveal their struggle to believe in who God is, what He wants for her, and in the reality of the Kingdom of God around us, in us and in the heavens. She knows that there is nothing new in her revelations about the Lord that hasn’t already been declared in the Scriptures for everyone but prays these books will remind people still suffering alone that He is there with them... as hope in the future becomes a growing reality to accept each day as her heart aligns with God’s heart. Book 4 still waits to be revealed and lived, hoping to inspire other authors who are currently writing their autobiographies for the same purpose of helping those without hope in life to find it as they did by understanding this truth