So, you think you want a Great Dane.
You've seen the Instagram photos: majestic giants lounging on couches, draped in toddler hugs, the picture of calm nobility. You've heard the nickname, "Gentle Giant", and thought, "
how bad could it be?"
Well, buckle up, because you're about to find out.
Great Dane Insights
isn't another sunshine-and-slobber dog book. It's the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, painfully true guide to life with one of the most breathtaking and backbreaking breeds on Earth. Written by a dog professional with over 20 years in training, rescue, and veterinary work, this book doesn't sugarcoat a thing. Because when a creature the size of a small horse moves into your house, reality hits fast.
Inside these pages, you'll get the truth no breeder brochure or online forum will tell you:
The Dane Delusion:
Why "gentle" doesn't mean easy-and what your furniture is about to suffer.
Big Dog, Bigger Baggage:
How genetics, bloat, and short lifespans turn ownership into a race against time (and vet bills).
Emotional Overload:
Why your 150-pound dog thinks he's a baby, cries when you leave, and tries to sit
on your lap.
The Financial Apocalypse:
Food, supplements, insurance, and orthopedic beds-the Dane economy explained.
Training Truths:
How to set boundaries before your dog learns to body-slam you for fun.
Rescue Realities:
Why so many Danes end up abandoned-and how to be the human who doesn't quit when it gets hard.
The Goodbye You'll Never Be Ready For:
The heartbreaking cost of loving a giant who burns twice as bright, and half as long.
Every chapter blends sarcasm, science, and the kind of insight you only earn after decades in the trenches of real-world dog ownership. You'll laugh. You'll cringe. You'll probably start measuring your doorways. And by the end, you'll know-truly know-if you're ready for a Dane, or if you just like the idea of one.
This isn't just a breed book. It's a survival manual. It's the guide that saves owners from heartbreak, dogs from bad matches, and wallets from spontaneous combustion. Whether you're a first-time owner, a seasoned dog pro, or someone who's already living with a drool volcano disguised as a pet, this book gives you the full, uncensored truth about what it takes to love-and survive-a Great Dane.
Because here's the thing about these dogs: they'll destroy your couch, test your patience, and drain your savings... and then they'll rest their head in your lap and remind you why you'd do it all again.
If you're ready for 150 pounds of devotion, destruction, and drool, this book is your warning label-and your roadmap.
Perfect for readers of:
Dog breed guides that don't lie, real-life dog owners, fans of
Woof-a-Pedia: The Brutally Honest Dog Breed Guide,
and anyone brave (or foolish) enough to think "I want a big dog."
What you'll learn:
Real Dane behavior and emotional needs (no sugarcoating)
True cost of ownership, from vet care to sanity
Training strategies that actually work on giant breeds
Health issues every owner must prepare for
How to avoid the heartbreak of bad breeding and bad advice
Zero Woofs Given Press
delivers the dog books no one else will write, sarcastic, smart, unfiltered, and grounded in truth. Because owning a Great Dane isn't a lifestyle, it's a full-time relationship with chaos, comedy, and love the size of a small SUV.
If you're still reading this, you've already made up your mind.
Just remember: this isn't a dog.
It's a life choice.