The universe displays the complete absence of chaos. The orbits of billions of stars along with moons, planets and other interstellar masses are completely synchronized with mathematical and harmonious precision. The intellectually dishonest hypotheses spanning Darwinian evolution, spontaneous generation of life, transpermian seeding, and the big bang are rotten smelly corpses in the focused light of twenty-first century scientific knowledge wherein not one single proven fact can be found in support of what is biologically, chemically, genetically, molecularly, and mathematically impossible. It is time to trash the apeman that never existed.