Whisking Her Dragon Away in Bloomington, MN

Has anybody seen my Dragon Man?
Do you think he remembers me?
It started with a hard-to-get-right cookie recipe.
We moved on to my Familiar and her yearly shenanigans.
Then, somehow, a flying stove got involved.
Now, I'm seeing double, my Magic is on lockdown, and I just found out some green-skinned crazy man with mommy issues thinks I'm his Mate.
All I can say is, Welcome to My World.
Great Goddess in green go-go boots, this is why the good die young, isn't it?
At this point, I'm ready to use all my lifelines and call my mom.
Things
cannot
get any worse, right?