Villains and Heroes: Make My Day - 6

About the book "Villains and Heroes": Larry Henares' essays are often thought of as a morality play, with its own consistent set of villains and heroes. His villains are "crooks, clowns, morons and traitors" among the Philippine officialdom, and his greatest peeves are the colons and the colonials, American carpetbaggers and scallawags among his own people, "the hired hacks and paid pipers of foreign imperialism." His heroes are Rizal, Recto and all Filipinos whose loyalty and allegiance belong their own country rather than to a foreign power. In this book of essays, "Villains and Heroes," Larry really goes to town against "Mommie Dearest" Mother America (recalling the vitriolic biography of actress Joan Crawford by her daughter); against alleged CIA station chief Norbert Garrett, against Minister Phil Kaplan in a satiric essay that recalls the once famous story by Leo Rossten, recently deceased; Secretary George Shultz whom he called Fatso; and Ambassador Frank Wisner whom he called Frankenstein the Wisner of Oz. Here he recounts the long story of how the Senate of the Philippines finally rejected a one-sided Military Bases treaty with the United States. Then again, he writes of other things: a hilarious essay on the bathrooms and toilets of the world; on mediocrity and intellectual cretinsm, on the social conscience of economists. And finally on death, a heroic fight against cancer, on Atang de la Rama, the final exit of the greatest of his contemporary heroes: Pepe Diokno and Lorenzo Tañada. Read and laugh your head off. Read ,weep and gnash your teeth. Table of Contents Foreword by Dr. Elvira Henares Esguerra, p.4 Chapter One: Personalities, p.9 1. Adrian's piece of golden ass, p.9 2. Raoul, the shining singer with salted Eggs, p.12 3. Cory: Stop Teddyboy before he kills Pelaez, p.14 4. The Education of Philip K*A*P*L*A*N, p.16 Pssst Kaplan, Body Ingles can't move that ball, p.19 Surprise of Phil Kaplan, Mitra's Friend, p.22 5. Hoy Kulas, think Eddie is an Amboy?- p.24 6. Garrett sticks his thumb into Noel's ear, p.26 Noel Soriano is Walter Mitty's Goldfinger, p.29 7. Gen. Rudy Canieso plots to assassinate me, p.31 Surrender in 10 seconds or die! 10, 9, 8..., p.33 Chapter Two: Yankees, go home! - p.35 8. American Military Bases, p.35 9. Colonial Mentality is the AIDS of the mind, p.37 10. Shultz: You are bluffing, Fatso, p.40 11. Mommie keeps us poor and scared shit, p.42 12. Fools in 1946, traitors in 1991, p.44 13. The dark corners into which we crawl, p.47 14. Frank, Stan, Ken: goons for protection racket, p.49 15. Faith that binds and blinds beyond all reason, p.51 16. 10 for, 13 against treaty: Yankee go home! - p.53 17. Abominations of MacArthur, McNutt, Edelstein go on, p.56 18. Bastards, do your worst and we will do our best, p.58 19. Obeisance invites arrogance and contempt, p.60 20. Hey Needle Dick, who's your fat friend? - p.62 Cuidao coño, ahora me estas tocando un huevo! - p.65 21. Dazzling display of political masturbation, p.67 22. Uncle Sham and Twelve Apostles of Freedom, p.69 23. Frankenstein, the Wisner of Oz, p.72 24. USA speaks softly and carries a big Dick, p.74 Chapter Three: Perspectives, p.76 25. Bathrooms: Kulas, grace of God and dignity of man, p.76 Americans, Europeans wash in dirty water, p.79 Church and Toilet in Lost Paradise, p.81 26. Maggots of mediocrity, intellectual cretinism, p.83 27. Rape: Whimpering, she said no when she meant yes, p.85 For good or ill, the Sexual Revolution is upon us,p.87 28. En mi hambre, mando yo! Por huevos! - p.90 29. Don't miss Yanky Panky at Rizal Theater, p.92 30. NEC: Economists, eunuchs know how but can't do it, p.94 Economists must have social conscience, p.97 31. Clarence Darrow on Religious Fundamentalism, p.99 (more inside the book)