Toilet Material: Very Short Stories for Very Short Attention Spans

"SUCH A FUN, EASY READ. LIKE FOR CHILDREN, EXCEPT DON'T LET CHILDREN READ THIS."- In today's always-on world, we're constantly inundated with texts, emails and phone calls (from the annoying people that still make actual phone calls). The bathroom is the last place left for a little uninterrupted "you" time. Shouldn't you spend those sacred few minutes laughing like a king (or queen!) on the porcelain throne? In his uproarious debut book, Toilet Material, comedian Robbie Pickard delivers big laughs at a rapid-fire pace, with 38 short stories that change topics with the speed you scroll through your Facebook feed. One minute you're in the middle of a conversation between a couple on the night they signed their prenup, and the next, a man abducted by aliens is failing to convince news reporters he wasn't probed while aboard the UFO. Everybody poops. And everybody deserves to have something funny to read while they're doing it. - My First Day in Prison (If I Took My Friend Kevin's Advice) - Millennial High School Reunions - Dear Owner of the Bra I Just Found Hanging in A Tree - How Martian Babies Are Made - The Only Apology From the Guy That Used This Gas Station Bathroom Before Me That Would Make Sense "If you're constipated, this book provides the perfect amount of belly laughter required for that final push." "Somehow, Robbie found a way to transfer his devastating likability from the stage to the page." "So funny you'll want to read it when you go number 1."