The Wild Italian Wedding and Other Short Stories, Poems, and Jokes

Senior improv instructor and comedy writer Albert Zimbler presents "The Wild Italian Wedding and Other Short Stories, Poems, and Jokes," his third book of fictional short stories about love and sex following his first book "The Love Life of Howard Handsome and Other Short Stories" and his second book "Blossom Winters Is Driving on the Los Angeles Freeways and Other Short Stories." Here is the beginning of the story "The Artist's Success": "The Artist's Success" I forgot to tell you that the story of the painting of an Italian wedding is not finished. There is more to the tale as I discovered in doing additional research in my story mind. Guliani, the artist who did the painting, left the area three days after the wedding when he delivered the painting to Sophia and Tonne's house and went on his way north toward Rome. Although he didn't realize it, someone was following him. It was Orna. In just a short period of time, while Guliani was finishing the painting, Orna had decided that she was meant to be for Guliani. Now what did that mean? In Orna's mind, it meant that she was going to marry this Guliani fellow and stop living the lifestyle of a nun. What about Guliani? Well, in modern vernacular, he was what one would call a nerd, a shy nothing, who could paint better than most people but who had never made any kind of lira income, had never had any girlfriends, and couldn't even remember who his biological parents were. In two words, Guliani was a wandering nothing. Orna had great plans for Guliani, and it wasn't until the second day that she caught up with him as they walked to Rome. She had changed her garb to a simple orange skirt and white blouse and a sunbonnet to ward off the hot sun during the long hours she spent on the road trying to meet up with Guliani. Her first words to him were, "I want to marry you and live a normal life." Guliani was aghast. Who would want to marry an artist who carried just a knapsack with colored pencils, paper, oils, and some personal toiletries-a person like himself, with no formal education, family, money, job prospects, and so many more personal deficits? Orna said to Guliani, "Together we will build everything for the better of both of us, devoting ourselves to the other for personal development." So in the next town they went to the local priest and were married. Then they vowed to start immediately on their personal improvement journey. Guliani quickly took out scissors in his knapsack and attacked Orna's hair, which from being a long, dark, and dirty mess became truly a cut that a modern-day stylist would be envious of. Her new hairstyle fell softly around her face. Guliani then further opened his knapsack and placed Orna on a huge bolder on the side of the road. He withdrew some oil and painted some lovely animal designs on her orange skirt. Again with his scissors he slit each side of the skirt to reveal Orna's shapely legs. He then painted her white blouse with designs of tulips, orchids, and begonias. What a change in Orna-from a nun's perspective to a shapely farm girl with nice legs and now a happy smile on her face. To read the rest of the story "An Artist's Success" and to read the story "The Wild Italian Wedding" go to www.TheWildItalianWedding.com