Within the sanctity of a family, each individual has choices. Such choices are to be congruent with or conform to unwritten guidelines of the family as a whole. A contrite mind will ruin the entire vision of the family. That family then becomes dysfunctional. Whenever someone out-blossoms the dysfunction, the damnatory comments begin. As an individual member of your family, do not be afraid to extend your range of view beyond the regulative vision of the family. Don't be afraid to declare peace for yourself. Your hopes and dreams are yours and yours alone; you have the rights to claim full ownership of them. Set the bar as high as you will. Perhaps, one day the others will rise up to meet you. Be blessed.