The Inventions of the Idiot in Bloomington, MN

"[...]some of my surplus."
"What would you have such a guild do?" queried Mr. Whitechoker.
"Do? There'd be so much for it to do that the members could hardly find time to rest," returned the Idiot. "Do? Why, my dear sir, take this house, for instance, and see what it could do here. What a boon it would be for me if some kind-hearted person would come here once a week and sew buttons on my clothes, darn my socks-in short, keep me mended. What better work for one who desires to make the world brighter, happier, and less sinful!"
"I fail to see how the world would be brighter, happier, or less sinful if your suspender-buttons were kept firm, and your stockings darned, and [...]".