The Gaffer: Grassroots football at its best - and worst

A TALE OF: LAUGHTER, TEARS, ALCOHOL, BURGERS, FLATULENCE, WIND UPS, BANTS, GARBS, ANGRY DOG WALKERS & DOGS**T DAVE - OH AND FOOTBALL When Vinny Smith is offered the chance to take the manager's role at the all-conquering Dalworth United Under 15s what could possibly go wrong? Well for one, he is stepping into the boots of the highly successful Michael Harris. Then, once he has chosen his squad and formation (and remembered his balls, bibs and cones) he will have to deal with the highly volatile Hayes twins, Billy Belafonte's eating habits (as well as their explosie end-product) and Adam Morley's outrageous dress sense. Then let's not forget the unforgiving refs, angry dog-walkers, irate bowls club members and Dogsh*t Dave. After a disastrous start, Vinny quickly learns that coaching is as much about listening as talking and help is at hand in the shape of assistant manager Simon. If he can keep Gaffer's temper and ego in check, who knows, they may be another Clough and Taylor... ...or Laurel & Hardy. This is grassroots football at it's best - and worst. Coached and managed by hardy souls with a thousand football clichés who carry the dreams of the players, parents - and themselves.