The Bridesmen of Madison County

With its over-the-top drama, humor, and truths uncovered, both good and bad, "Bridesmen of Madison County" is a heartwarming novel of extraordinary people living extraordinary lives. Excerpt: The front door of T.J. Bookers swung open with a mighty force. The gust of cold winter air toppled the magazine rack near the checkout counter. "Is it me or are these Twi-hards getting younger and younger every day?" laughed Shannon O'Rourke. "Bring the equipment in, boys. You can set up the cameras when that entire little sideshow leaves." Shannon waved her hands in a sweeping motion at the display table. "I'll sit right here to be sure that I get the best natural light reflecting from the windows." Shannon snapped her compact shut and smacked the strawberry flavored gloss over both lips. She stood perfectly still, except for her head, which hunted the audience like a starving king cobra looking for its prey. It wasn't long before the hard-hitting journalist spotted the familiar face of Evan Merck, and released her venom. "Oh look, it's Twinky Dinky. Where are the rest of the tubbies and your bunk buddy, Father Time?" "Let me tell you something, Hagatha. I may be a 'twinky', but at least my dinky has seen a hell of a lot more action than your old, dried-out, cobweb collector," Evan retorted. Evan Merck was an attractive twenty-two-year-old with light red hair and eyes the color of a tropical ocean that he would use to melt the most evil of hearts. The young man benefited from a beautiful smile and a gym fed body which he offered to both the gentlemen and the young ladies. ****** Madison County rode in the back seat of the Lincoln Town Car hollering into her smartphone at a former client. The hefty woman with her newly processed pink highlights took a deep breath and popped a lemon Jolly Rancher into her mouth. "Why do I always seem to get hired only by drama queens and lunatic lesbians?" Madison vented to the driver. Madison County had a tall stature, with auburn hair highlighted with pink streaks and worn in what could only be described as a crushed beehive. Her oval face and bright red lips rested atop linebacker shoulders. She was carrying a pair of double D's that she strutted high and proud underneath her dreadful attempt at fashion. Madison wore a blue satin blouse that tied high around her neck tucked into a baggy pair of white linen slacks over blue open-toed wedges. The final nail in the project scumway disaster was the faded blue wool blazer and the fifties styled horn-rimmed glasses that had some guests questioning the true sexuality of the wedding planner.