Simon Says in Bloomington, MN

Simon puppeteers me, and I do his bidding; it's part of our long-time deal. Much history attached there; trauma too. You'll learn. But for now, I hold a sledgehammer in my hand that is about to make fatal contact with a certain oblivious person's skull.
How did I get here from watching Bugs Bunny and Barney? Trust me, I have a story, and it involves being my father's little devil.
"10 percent of my profits on the book will be donated to the Wounded Warriors Foundation"