From Auckland to the bubbling pit of Rotorua, New Zealand is a veritable smorgasbord of crappy towns and shitty cities. Slagging off our towns is as much a national pastime as binge drinking and homoerotic ball sports. Ever since a Dutch bloke in a sailboat did a driveby and claimed to have discovered the place (much to the chagrin of Maori living here), New Zealanders have reveled in taking the piss. The towns reviewed in this volume have been carefully selected using an exacting set of scientific criteria based on the Scheisse-Ortschaft Formula, combined with extensive field research and a healthy sense of humor.