She'll Be Home in the Springtime: The Story of a Mother, a Daughter and Asperger's

At two weeks old, sweet-natured and beguiling Cait made her entry into the hearts of her adoptive family. By age two, things had changed. She had become a non-communicative clockwork toy that never ran down. Even after the pediatrician's dismissal of her concerns, Cait's mother pleaded, "Please tell me what's wrong with my daughter." Nothing was easy. Simple routines, like grocery shopping, became a war zone of wills as unwanted items headed for the checkout. Town ski sales, meant to be fun family outings, became crushing disappointments for an older sibling having to tolerate yet another one of her younger sister's meltdowns. Cait challenged everything her mother knew about raising a child. Crowded places and transitions confounded her. Like the Great Wall of China, school stretched out ahead for the next twelve years, yet it was hard to imagine Cait surviving even Kindergarten. Her mother, now divorced, was hopeful that the special services finally in place would make a difference. But Cait remained the square peg, never quite fitting in. It wasn't until 6th grade, and numerous evaluations and tests later, that she was diagnosed with Asperger's. The diagnosis didn't change the trajectory of her journey. It just gave it a name. And it didn't stop her mother from hoping that someday her child, like everyone else's, would go to college. While Cait was growing up, other aspects of her personality began to emerge. She could be funny and smart, inquisitive and passionate. Sometimes, her eclectic flair and unique style could get her in hot water. When dropping her off at high school one day, her mother eyed two white fangs where her front molars should have been. Cait sheepishly smiled, "I'm going to take them off in homeroom, honest." While her collector instincts as a child were endearing, as a teen they spelled trouble, like the day she swiped a DVD from a second-hand shop. Cait curtailed her tendencies after her mother orchestrated a visit to the local police station with a guided tour of their holding tank. Cait did end up graduating high school and going to college, but her challenges didn't end there, they just morphed into new ones. Despite the specialized school she attended, Cait's poor sense of time and missed assignments plagued her performance. Like high school, her mother tried supporting her daughter's efforts, but this time from more than an hour away. As the two hiked Mount Monadnock on a Sunday morning in an effort to makeup the field trip that Cait had missed, her mother questioned her own sanity. Is this what all mothers do? After three long years, Cait managed to earn her Associates degree. But now what? They did find a program specifically designed for young adults with developmental challenges like Asperger's. With built in supports, the program taught and fostered independence. Yet even a program as focused as this one had its own learning curves where Cait was concerned. And her mother's wonderings remained. "What will become of my daughter?"