Seven Things Not to Do When Everyone's Trying Kill You in Bloomington, MN

Being a wizard is hazardous to your health.
Things not to do when being tracked by murderers:
#1
Do not drag the girl you're in love with into your deadly mess.
#2
Do not accept a bag full of money.
#3
If you do accept said bag of money, don't be dumb enough to shove it down the back of your pants.
#4
Do not get into a battle with the evil lunch lady.
#5
Do not start a war in a tourist hotspot.
#6
Do not let your dad find out you're a wizard.
#7
Do NOT under any circumstances, no matter how desperate things might seem, let Eric Deldridge convince you to break into the Library and seize control of the magical world.