It Just Happened

It is 1973. Billy Burton is 12 years old. He has a lot going on in his life. And he has a lot to say about it... So this director guy (I don't know, he supposedly directed some movies that are probably crappy, I don't know), but anyway, this guy (Phil Joanou) he decided to write a book about me (Billy Burton), and yes, I'm 12 years old, and yes, that will most likely turn you off because you think it's gonna be a book about bratty little punks so it must be written for bratty little punks like me. But it's not. (I think.) No, it's written for old people . . . like say, 20 — or even older. I can't say much about anyone older than 40 because I really only know about my parents and they definitely will NOT want to read this book because they are in the book and I'm not so sure they are gonna be so happy about what this Joanou guy wrote even though he thinks he "got inside my head" (ha!) and knows what I really think about things, which I will tell you, is not true—but I just let him think it is. Anyway, this book is the story of my life back in 1973, and now you're thinking: "Who in the hell gives a damn about 1973!" Well, a lot was happening back then; my dad was under investigation by the Senate Committee on Watergate, I met a strange girl, a Nazi moved in down the street, we were visited by the ghost of Diane Arbus, I stole a book called "The Happy Hooker," my dog got kidnapped, Bob Woodward was after me, and Richard Feynman (the Nobel Prize Winning Physicist) became my friend. Plus some other stuff. I told this writer guy (Joanou) that no one would care, but he kept on saying, "So what? It'll be fun!" Well, I'm not so sure about him having "fun" with my life, but I will say, a lot of "funny" things did happen that year. (And, to be honest, some not so funny things.) But all in all, I think that's what he was going for: a feeling of Fun(!) and Adventure(!), along with some other stuff about Love and Sex and Loyalty and Betrayal and Family and Friends and Girlfriends and First Kisses, and did I say, Sex? (No, not sex-sex! What do you think this is? I'm only twelve!) Anyway, that's all I really know because I haven't even read the damn thing. I mean, why would I? I'm the one who lived it. p.s. And just so you know, that part in the story where some people get shot? I had nothing to do with that. The Joanou guy made that part up all on his own . . . I swear. About the author: Phil Joanou has directed feature films ("Three O'clock High"—"State of Grace"—"U2: Rattle and Hum" etc. etc.) as well as documentaries, commercials, a few television shows and several music videos. This is his first novel.