I Suck at Titles in Bloomington, MN

It was supposed to be the best story I'd ever created, my love letter to the fantasy genre. It had heroes gathering mythical artifacts, an epic fight with a dragon, and adventure! But because of a faulty narration device, this story now had me in the flesh.
This accident ruined everything! There is no epic journey. No forging friendships. Even the dragon fight was thrown out the window. The only way this could be worse is if this mishap wasn't an accident. But that's ridiculous. Everyone knows the perils of writing yourself into your story. I'd never do that to myself. And there's no one sick enough to trap a narrator in his own world.
Right?