Gunslinger to the Stars in Bloomington, MN

Not long from now, in our own Milky Way...
The name's Sam Kletchka. Perhaps you've heard of me: captain of the Star Runner, military contractor for Earthfleet, and interstellar privateer. But before all that, I was a hired gun, freelancing across the galaxy one gunslinging job at a time.
This, my friends, is how I went from being stranded in the armpit of the galaxy to becoming the luckiest human being in the universe. Not that it was easy, of course. I've looked death in the face so often, he's practically an old buddy of mine. But when all your worst enemies are immortal, that's a buddy you want on your side.
Stay frosty, my friends. You never know what you'll find at the next star.