Friends or enemies

In a car, on a long cloudy skied drive, I couldn't help but close my eyes to the slight sounds of raindrops outside the window. Ah. This was... relaxing. Whenever my eyes were open I'd see colors. Blue. Green. Yellow. White. I'd see emotions. Anger. Sadness. Happiness. It was all an eyesore after awhile. But when I closed them? Things couldn't be any better. Dark. Empty. Nothing. Of course I can still feel my chest rising and falling when I breathe and a car air vent blasting at my face, but besides that it's like I'm dead. But in a good way. Sorta. I wish I could stay in this state for as long as possible. It felt free in a way. No problems at all. It didn't use to be like that though. I used to hate the dark. I used to hate the shadows that crept around me everywhere.