Dear John

I am so sorry to have to tell you but our marriage is over. I guess it began when you took that new job and, well you were gone on business trips so often. I got lonely Sweetheart, just too many nights setting home with no one to talk to, nothing to do, it was inevitable I suppose. You know how I hate being alone all the time; it drives me crazy because I just don't know what to do with myself. This is the Dear John Letter you hope you never receive! Over-the-top, sexual comedy from the warped mind of I. M. Telling. People will ask why your laughing so hard.