Charmbracelet in Bloomington, MN

If it didn't follow
Glitter
, the gold standard for diva implosions in the early 21st century,
Mariah Carey
's
Charmbracelet
would simply be her worst album, but since it was rushed out in late 2002 in an effort to mask that disaster, to treat it as if it never happened, it achieves a special kind of grandeur -- it's a botched attempt to restore a career after a botched attempt at a crossover. Of course, the
Carey
party line, including her new label
Island
(who has sponsored her vanity imprint,
MonarC
), claims her lone
Virgin
album,
, shouldn't be considered an official
Mariah
album since it was a soundtrack, but not only does that theory not hold water (perhaps
Purple Rain
shouldn't be considered a
Prince
album, then?), it signals that everybody realizes that
wasn't just a disaster, but that her whole ghetto-fabulous trip of the late '90s eroded her core MOR audience. So, with
, the backpedalling is immediately evident, from the demure photos gracing the artwork (the tight shorts of
Rainbow
are long gone) and the first single/opening track
"Through the Rain,"
a slow
ballad
designed as
"Vision of Love"
meets
"Hero."
is back in the
adult contemporary
camp, no longer trying to prove that she's real. She hasn't completely abandoned
hip-hop
, but whenever it rears its head on
, it's utterly jarring, whether it's
Jay-Z
's and
Freeway
's guest spots on
"You Got Me,"
the club-ready groove of
"You Had Your Chance"
(built on the same bassline as
"Nuthin' But a G Thang"
), or the blatant rewrite of
Cam'ron
"Oh Boy"
on
"Boy (I Need You)"
(he may endorse it with a cameo, yet the sampled vocal hook remains singularly annoying no matter how it's presented), or the crackling vinyl used as ambient noise on
"Irresistible,"
or the distracting use of dripping water as percussion on
"I Only Wanted."
Weirdly enough, even these detours are nothing more than flourishes -- window-dressing on songs that remain firmly in the middle of the road, since that's where the sales are, or at least where
's aging fan base is. This, of course, is not a problem, since she's done
-influenced dance tunes and
ballads
very well before. What is a problem is that there are no good songs on this record outside of
Def Leppard
power ballad
classic
"Bringin' on the Heartbreak,"
which isn't even covered all that well. What is a greater problem is that
's voice is shot, sounding in tatters throughout the record. Whenever she sings, there's a raspy whistle behind her thin voice and she strains to make notes throughout the record. She cannot coo or softly croon, nor can she perform her trademark gravity-defying vocal runs. Her voice is damaged, and there's not a moment where it sounds strong or inviting. That alone would be disturbing, but since the songs are formless and the production bland -- another reason why the
announces itself, even though it's nowhere near as pronounced as it has been since
Butterfly
-- her tired voice becomes the only thing to concentrate on, and it's a sad, ugly thing, making an album that would merely have been her worst into something tragic. ~ Stephen Thomas Erlewine