Grasping, grasping. Fighting, fighting. It's how I lived my life for years; How I survived the chaos around me, the hurt within. What was love? The real kind, I mean. Well, I didn't know. You name it, I've tried it, and nothing ever fit quite right. Not the relationships, the three hundred dollar shoes, the alcohol--not even the incessant need to people please or prove them wrong. I smiled hard but deep down, anger brewed inside of me. All the grasping and fighting had gotten me nowhere, then I really fell apart. My heart and soul lay shattered to bits unrepairable to man and darkness threatened to finish me off in the shadows. But apparently, at rock bottom, there's a not-so-secret passageway to life, and I found it. Now I smile with true, unbreakable joy and a Love this world can never offer. Let me tell you how I was made new, and I don't even care that I'm not the one in control.