The USS Pelican, or the “Pelican’t” as it was affectionately known, was the craziest, most nerve-racking ship in the navy. How was that possible, though, if it remained tied to the pier essentially for two years? This account contains the musings and observations of one junior officer attempting to stay sane aboard mighty Pelican. Likewise, it includes his attempts to do the same on a different ship—this one doing circles in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.