All About Eva: A Novel

My name is Evadne Cavell and I have an embarrassing secret. The men I encounter aren’t interested in big, beautiful Black women like me—not out in the open anyway. So I go to dark theaters and let anonymous men fondle me in the dark. Why do I do this? Because I’m the proverbial “good girl,” the youngest daughter of a prominent family. Because I teach at a private Denver college with a new administration intent on taking the “liberal” out of liberal arts. Because I need a way to vent my sexual frustration. But I have to stay in control. I lost control three years ago and live in fear of being exposed. At the same time, I want to be an object—touched, petted, wanted—desired—but by my rules. I can look and I can touch, but no names, no eye contact, and no talking. Then I meet Joshua Delaney, a graphic artist from Texas who has me breaking my rules faster than a tornado leveling a trailer park. Soon I’m doing things I’ve never done before. Letting myself get manhandled in the dark is not smart or safe, and I’ve been lucky so far. But I don’t think I can keep this going for much longer. I want to live my life without shame but society feels entitled to define me. I can trust you, right? I need to tell someone everything, exactly what I think, exactly what I feel—everything I have been going through. I want to tell you…All About Eva.