This is a memoir and narrative of relentless terror and of combating hatred through following a path of a higher good and an inner guiding light as a child, a teenager, and an adult. From age 4 until 18 (1951-65) he is conditioned like one of Pavlov's dogs to scream and cry for his life at the hands of his biological father who is a monster. What gifts him with a spiritual sanity and a living soul to persevere is he cares for his 3 younger brothers, and he doesn't do to them or anyone else what is being done to him.